Whats up guys its been a long time since I touch this blog I feel like just bringin this blog down but im trying to get my anxiety attack away and my anger management lol been in n out of imh ever since n sime other place I dont wanna say I feel so pressured tjat I cant control my emotions and mood my mood keep on swinging here n there amd I feel like Leviathan taking over because of my doubts of my own self I dont know if I can love up to my sisters expectations or my family's one for that matter I feel tensed and the other thing is that I feel like im the cause of everyone aroujd me grts angry its like when I feel it within myself it spreads to my friends like a virus I domt know how I can stop it sometimes I feel like jumping off my heart cries and sometimes I feel so happy like nobody else is happy its my mood swings I meditate but my intuition is making my logic minus not plus I try n find the balance but I cant its not easy sayimg is easy but doing it is freaking hard omg I am in love but uhm I dont wanna rush ot like my other relationship bcoz that way I can learn the.person more n stuff.  Sometimes when I see my old friend fb or  saw him face to face ill get an anxiety attack my hand trembles n my legs get weak I still jave it but it doenst happen all of the time like everyday..  Its like I have it sometimes 1 a week or 10 times a week anyway im just pouring my feelings out..  Man theres this guy that keeps getting into trouble and he acts like ue doesnt know it seriously of je has mental illness I can see it but I dont wanna lnow why because his acting well im not judging im just saying what I think about him

about me my old self from 1 ro 2 to 3

1.ok about me .. im mayven payne.he  wont get wet in the  rain .i will not take a pain killer. revenge is  sweet but it can take you over and splat you down like a meat... Well hay 2 say hey its a beautiful day . I kind of have this habit of critisizing abt some citizen in singapore sum of them are really inconsiderable like 4 example they wont move out of the way wen im on my bicycle n plus some of them are jerks.

2.All i can say now is that nobodys perfect Im fading every second of the clock coz i dk where 2 go my heart is broken into pieces by the birds . my life goes anywhere i dunt care coz i wana just fade away into the darkness with no hopes and dreams where i loose my self and itll be that until youll be there.

yo yo yo yo yo well i love looking ahead 4 tomorrow because i go with the flow. I am the BEST there is ,The BEST there was and The BEST there ever will be tats my promise i wanna be the best there can ever beee no one else is like havin the most skills in the world so im trying 2 be that person . im a person who doesnt like 2 eat junk food so much but i like 2 eat veges and chocolate and nuggets are my fav food well not so much nuggets or chocolate i cant eat 2 much junk food if i do ill vomit idk why buy my stomach does it all the time but i love eating bread. 

I have 2 different persona its kinda frreaky

3.All i can say now is that nobodys perfect. i can understand a lot more through the day i live n through the day u asss me out damn bitch i am violent but i also can be reasonable but if u do take advantage of it ill squash u like a bug i can do tat seriously it doesnt matter who the fuck u think u are ill kick ur candy ass up down n sideways... dunt try n fool me coz when i play a prank i can make u cry .. i can be friendly but if u take advantage of it see can happen to u ... seriously i have 2 diff persona which is freaky just dunt try n harm me n i wont kick u 2 hell

hehehe

lolz ive been working and watching code lyoko its the nicest anime ever and the opening song is also a great and an epic song with the lyrics  lolz sory about the other posts im sometimes not myself but i am when im happy

IF you scumbag think you know me i would tell you no you dont

You think you know me but hey your just talk and wat 1st impression is important not exactly is like something you would say like you look at an ugly car but wats on the inside do you know tat .. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH BUT I JUST THINK ITS 2 PATHETIC 2 laugh ouh well ill laugh it out anyway hahahhahahahhahahahahahahah

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

im not in a verry good mood so please if this person is reading this she knows tat shes the only one that can save me from my darkness if not ill always be angry and have hatred and revenge

AHHHHHH Darn it i really wish she forgive me .. please forgive me clarice please

Please please please forgive me clarice please can we talk soon idk im kinda buzy with my stuff and plus im goin out on the 9 and ill be back on the 15 or 17 well its gonna be a holiday but im not sure i wanna go or not walau eh i have 2 save lolz but nvm la just save so tat i can buy some of the stuff there . I just wish that either joey or clarice can understand my feelings im a person wholl fight 2 the bitter end coz i noe my time of judgment day is at hand or is near i just dunt wanna go away without ur nice words i just dunnoe wat 2 say right now if im dead i wanna forgive my family for not being the best but still iwanna be the best  there is there was and there ever will be. I really feel like being just a dead person no matter how many times i make friends i make more enemies than friends thats why maybe i just have 2 be alone 4 ever and ever in the darkness even my own family is kinda like my enemy now idk why i just feel this way.

wow its been a long sashiburi dane

hey there fellow ladies and gentlemen some are really annoying some are not well alrighty then anyway whats up well ive bougght the eternal memory with the dx lost driver a really stuning thing the sound effect is nice idk why i like eternal so much despite hes a bad guy anyway hes a bad kamen rider 2 the evil rider eternal in the movie of kamen rider w a-z gaia memory fate futo forever double and accel had a very hard and bad time stopping him wasnt easy well philip was touched by marie daido mother of katsumi daido whos kamen rider eternal a neco-over a dead person but he was respawn back into human but he became bad and worked as a terrorist the organisation named never he founded has 4 dopants luna metal heat trigger while the cyclone dopant was katsumi's mom marie daido wow wat an epic movie and the theme song is up above so listen 2 it its song has a mixture of feelings like sad angry happy well kinda depressed and i dk wat 2 do now but when i listen 2 da song it relaxes my mind anyway i gotta say im gonna have a hard time finding my self